Last year I died. Every day for 365 days. I woke up and experienced death.
I died to myself. I died to my past. I died to my will. I died to all that I thought that I knew.
Dying was hard, but necessary.
For Christians dying is central to our faith. Dying is life. I forgot that somewhere along the way. Somewhere along the road to hunky-dory everything should be perfect land, I forgot that dying is a good thing.
Good but painful.
I cried. More than I ever have in my whole life. I fought with God. More than I ever have in my whole life.
I died to myself and made hard decisions. I listened to God as He whispered move.
I died when I made the hard decision early this fall to leave my position at Family Life Services and a team that I absolutely loved and respected.
I died by stepping out in faith by applying for a job with Colorado Life Magazine. I almost convinced myself that I didn’t stand a chance before I even sent in a resume’. It was an internal struggle, but I knew deep down in my heart it was where God was leading me next.
I died by surrendering creatively to the Master Craftsman.
I spent hours dying at my desk, in the coffee shops around Colorado Springs, and at my kitchen table. Hours where I surrendered to words that eventually brought healing. Words that I didn’t expect to write, but once I got started they flowed out of me and gave me life.
I died by facing hard truth and difficult people. Some who were alive, but most of them were dead. Like really dead. As in six foot in the grave dead.
At one point in 2013, I told a friend that throughout the whole year I felt like I was always struggling and stumbling in the darkness. I could lie and tell you that I’m not superstitious. But I am. And so for me, 2013 embodied just too much of the number 13 in it for my taste.
My One Word for 2014
On this first day of 2014 I finally got some clarity concerning all of this difficult death and dying business. As I started to bury 2013, I discovered my One Word for 2014.
Like a child, I am reborn. This is my theme for 2014.
Reborn: To be emotionally or spiritually revived or regenerated.
Some qualities related to this word are obvious. We are moving to a new community. I am starting a new job. But not just any new town. A community that through the years has already has given us inspiration and life. Estes Park, Colorado. Estes of my dreams. Estes Park and Rocky Mountain National Park. Where we have visited dozens of times and where I feel the most connected and centered with myself.
I know that in 2014 that I will be reborn into this community.
What I am most excited about with being reborn is the experiences that will come from this theme that will be a surprise. The experiences that will be birthed from new adventure and new friends. The experiences that will come from the unexpected and unexplained.
I am not the same person I was in 2013. I am a completely new creature. I feel it, sense it, know it.
I can’t wait to give this new woman life. She has been waiting to come out. And she is ready for the world.
What will your One Word for 2014 be? What theme will you claim for your own?
Join the One Word 365 community and share your One Word for the year.