Fridays with Freda ~ Some Days Are Hard

Rinse…lather… repeat. 

Since my grandma Freda moved in with our family a year ago, honestly this is what some days feel like. I often get words of encouragement from friends, and truthfully, and that is enough to keep me going another day. But some days, I miss the spontaneity of life.

Before Freda, our family was able to come and go as we wished. If we wanted to take off for the day we could. Those days are pretty much gone.

If we want to be gone for a long period of time, I have to plan meals, leave long lists and try to get a friend to come over and check in on her. The thought of actually taking a vacation with just our immediate family feels like it will never happen ever again.

Sometimes I feel So.Tied.Down.

But it is all going to work out. I keep reminding myself that this is a season that God has called our family to, and He will be faithful to give us all the grace to do it all again tomorrow. I keep reminding myself that there are lessons my children are learning, lessons that were not available to them twelve months ago.  That my kids will never be the same after this experience. Jeff and I will never be the same as well. It is like God is giving us a perspective today, to help encourage others in this same situation in the future.

So many people stop me to say, “I think it is great what you and Jeff have done to take in Freda.” I don’t always have the heart to give them the honest answer. That some days are hard. That some days I am flying by the seat of my pants. That some days I want my family back the way it was before my mom and dad died. That some days I feel so selfish because I just want to be in my house alone for one hour. That is the honest answer.

I know I’m not alone. I know that there are caregivers for seniors out there that feel the exact same way. And you know what? It is O.K. because you are normal. Just keep going and remind your self that what you are doing is close to the heart of God. God cares for the elderly, and there are surely blessings awaiting you that you may never see this side of heaven. Keep going.

Keep going even when some days are hard.



  1. Julie, you guys are doing a great work! What a beautiful gift you are for your grandmother and example of sacrificial servant hood for your children!

  2. Thank you Amanda. You are so sweet!

  3. Oh, the Blessings. enjoy the journey

  4. Sharlette Abel says:

    Julie, I so know where you are coming from. Sometimes I am selfish and wish that we could just go to dinner when we want to or go to the store when we want or go visit a friend or relative when we want or take a vacation when we want without having to check out other peoples schedules to make sure someone stay while we are gone. If we do anything other that the normal routine of life, I have to get a sitter. Even though Virginia is a life saver to me and comes and plays dominoes or just sits and talks with Mom, sometimes 3 or more times a week, I feel like I am taking advantage of her if I ask her to sit with Mom in the evening or on a Saturday.

    Some days are stressful and I get cranky, and Mom gets cranky, and Jerry comes home from work and after a short while, he gets cranky. I really have to focus on NOT being in that mood. I’m doing better but some days it is hard.

    I realize that this season in my life is where God wants me to be at this time. I also realize that sometime in the future we will have the freedom to once again do the things that we are missing now and that the freedom will be the result of a sad time, either a nursing home placement or death, so that time will be bitter-sweet.

    It seems to me that you and Jeff are too young to be the caregiver of an elderly person. I am so proud of the two of you for doing what is right instead of what is convenient. I believe Freda needed the love from you and your family at this time in her life. I’m not saying that she wasn’t loved before but, when the family was going through sorrow and illnesses, just getting through each day was probably difficult enough for them.

    With strength and guidance from God, our families will get through this season and be better, stronger, Christians than when this journey started.

    Keep on keeping on. God loves you and we do too!

    • I’m going to be honest, some days when it gets hard, I think – well this works because she is my grandmother and NOT my mother. If she was my mother then it would be REALLY hard. It makes me think of you and pray for you. You are my hero. Thank you for your sweet words of encouragement.

  5. Sharlette Abel says:

    Please forgive my errors in the above post.

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